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| God's love is supreme.
i have been reading Brother Laurence "The Practice of the Presence of God" and it is likely one of the most beneficial books i have ever read. Concepts are so simply powerfully put, which reminds me of a crazy story.
In Brother Laurence he talks about how in our spiritual lives it can be compared to having a ship at sea. As we hit waves, and storms come we need not worry, just go to the back of the boat and wake up Jesus and he will make it all calm, and good. I had a dream the other night, and i have been specifically praying for my dreams because they have been effecting my waking state in strange ways. The dream was this, i was standing in my sister's bedroom of my house looking out the window. When wind picks up and a tornado touches ground right in front of my house in the lake, right next to shore. Then the windows right in front broke and i was lifted off the ground. At this point it felt more real than real life. In the second of losing control and being lifted off the ground by the wind, all i said was "God your will, you are able to save me, but your will." As soon as i said that i softly fell to the ground, and was able to pull my self to the bathroom that has no windows that is 10 feet away. When i pulled myself inside and closed the door i noticed that my dad was in the room with me, and he was sleeping.
When i woke from the dream i had not understood the meaning yet, and was a little stirred and thought it was a nightmare. When i understood God's application of the dream i was blown away.
Today i made many new friends, it was incredible (i don't know if they realized we are friends yet or not), God has opened my heart further to always be seeking new friendship.
Tonight a friend lost breath and could take a breath every 6 seconds or so, we prayed over her and watched God restore the breath to her. It was impressive, and God provided.
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| "He Wishes For The Cloths Of Heaven"
Had i the heavens' embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.
-W. B. Yeats
I put this to music today, it is powerful, i have a grown appreciation for people who are sensitive, as i become more and more sensitive. The dream stomper seems to be on the loose lately. Father protect all my friends and their dreams, the dreams you have placed in their hearts, have others tread softly on those dreams, we seldom know how easy it is to crush someone's dreams. Light of the world, have mercy on us. Give us your light even in dreams, that they would be holy, meaningful, and sound. Amen
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| "But we all with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as from the Lord, the Spirit." -2 Corinthians 3:18
"For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, yet for your sake He became poor, so that you through His poverty might become rich." -2 Corinthians 8:9
"And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that always having all sufficiency in everything, you may have an abundance for every good deed." -2 Corinthians 9:8
"And He has said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness." Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me." -2 Corinthians 12:9
"For indeed he was crucified because of weakness, yet He lives because of the Power of God. For we also are weak in Him, yet we will live with Him because of the power of God directed toward you." -2 Corinthians 13:4
"For we can do nothing against the truth, but only for the truth. For we rejoice when we ourselves are weak but you are strong; this we also pray for, that you be made complete." -2 Corinthians 13:8-9
Father let me be weak, so that your power may be complete in me, that i can only act for the Truth. That i may always have all sufficiency in everything, that i may have an abundance for every good deed. From glory to glory transform me, conform me to your reflection, and i will leave my face unveiled.
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| Today went from great worship in Chapel to pretty good office hours at the coffee shop. Then i spent a good chunk of the afternoon playing guitar, i needed to rock out. I started writing a jam that is a good feel of my style... exciting. I found out that my online professor is giving me the shaft along with my roommate, to keep it short we are fighting the grade, and i think we have a very good chance at winning. Finding out the grade that professor gave me along with his demeaning comments on my final paper (which is a solid paper) put me in a bad mood. It took me about an hour of asking God what to do, reading, and laying in my bed praying, reading and just chilling to get over it. Then Etta came over and i felt all better, after taking care of her yesterday, and being there for her, she feels exceptionally in love with me. I know i have felt her love, but this is another level of love where everything in her knows that she can trust me when it comes down to it. That love lit up my day, i delivered coffee for the on campus Open Mic that Fill hosted tonight. I played three songs and it was great, it felt like old times. JD, Tim, and Fill all made it have that old time feeling for me, the Open Mic faithful. Then we watched MI3 good movie, has me thinking in ninja mode. Etta saw me randomly do a step jump spin inside crescent kick today and realized she has not seen me use my ninja skills. She lost it and thought it was soo cool, which is really cute of her. Sometime soon she wants me to show her some moves, so she can watch and swoon. So cute... love her.
My internship at the coffee shop only gets better, today Jeff just kind of set me loose and left me a message telling me to find out for myself what needed to be done. It was a good challenge, i think i did well, exciting.
My sense of love is heightened, in rescuing Etta yesterday and being there for her, she say that a fear of abandonment was broken. She is free of that idea, she knows now i wont abandon her, and because i did not she is set free from the confinement it had on her. She feels extra venerable and i have done my best to be sensitive to that. As a result of all these things, i can feel the depth of our love growing deeper even that it already was. "No eye can see, no ear can hear, no mind can conceive what God has prepared for those who love him." This scripture come to my mind.
God is taking me through servitude, and what it meas to be a true servant, like Jesus. I love the example of all the disciples arguing over who is the greatest/also who is not the least. The least among them would be the one to wash everyones seriously dirty feet. When Jesus catches wind of this he shows that the greatest is the least. He washes their feet, totally flip flopping their conceptions of great. I think of Americans and how we always want service, but we don't want to serve, just relax, and do nothing. In convenient respects, and also with the world we live in. There are so many people waiting to see Jesus through someone who cares, who serves, who is the greatest least. I have observed how small acts of service for people whether great or least, has an impact on them. Holding a door for a rich person might not be a good service for them because it is something they are used to. But a genuine care for them and prayer, something they don't expect, authored by the Holy Spirit, can change their lives. Walking around on campus, waiting and holding a door for someone, or taking the time to compliment them about something, just changes things on people's faces. I love watching them go from idle to important, and valuable. God smiles...
God everything speaks of you, whispers your name. The more i get to know you the more i can see the artists signature you place on every heart, on every leaf, blade of grass, drop of coffee, and beam of light that shines through the clouds. Show others your signature on me, let it be in obvious display.
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| Today i had to "man up" there were some decisions that i had to make, not to monumental to most eyes, but i knew in my heart they were big. I had to put Etta first, which is always what i try to do, but there were other important things at stake. In the end what i knew was right, being with her when she needed me, was rewarding and God confirmed my obedience. I have had these priorities in my heart, but it is different having to actually demonstrate them. My online class is now over, which is a huge relief. I now have 3 less credits, and a burden of posting on discussion boards all the time is off my back. I still don't know what grade i will get in the class until the professor grades my final paper which is worth about 1/3 of my final grade. One of my friends in the class got the shaft, and was graded down a lot, unfairly on the paper. That makes me slightly nervous about my final paper. I gained some spiritual insight through watching Transformers today... Phil bought me the dvd which is RAD! There is a scene where Megatron, the leader of the deceptacons is on a roof with the main human character. Sam the human is holding the all spark that Megatron has come to Earth to find, and Megatron is trying to get him to surrender the cube. Megatron says "Is it fear or courage that compels you boy?" I have been thinking about how this point in my life is crucial to my future. I feel its importance, and i am not afraid, but compelled, by courage.
I am feeling the importance of God's discipline on me lately, as i have had to spend my cash flow entirely on necessities. Food, gas, food, a calculator for finance (expensive one), and things that are unavoidable expenses. I have found myself humbled by having only a few dollars in my bank account. Now that i understand the discipline of simplicity, it does not so much bother me. I am able to trust and abide in God providing for me these next few weeks while i anticipate my next paycheck.
God is revealing in my friends promises he told me, ways they would be healed. Love that would change them, friends love and romantic love. A friend that is prone to drama and deceit came clean of some things today, and praise the lord, i hope that this being brought in to the light will only continue.
"What i tell you in the darkness, speak in the light; and what you hear whispered in your ear, proclaim upon the housetops." -Matthew 10:27
Father that is compelling me in courage, help me see you in every way you want to be seen. When i hear your whisper give me the voice to proclaim it on housetops. Align my will to yours o Lord, help this town experience the freedom that you provide in discipline. That it does not result in confinement, but real freedom. Discipline all those that you love, that they may lead others to you and obedience. Father make your joy complete in this vessel, and in this place. Amen
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